When I won’t fuck him

He whispers in my ear. “You just don’t want a man to fuck you who loves you. You only want a man who will treat you like a slut”

He tells me I am the only girl he never lies to. The woman he thinks about to get hard. The woman he thinks about when he is with anyone else.

When I let him fuck me again. He whispers in my ear “I own you now. Don’t ever leave me again.” He makes me promise.

And he takes me out to lunch after he fucks me. One time.

And it feels like this time it’s going to be different.

It feels like I can wait for as long as it takes, because all the guys I dated since I left him the last time…

…weren’t Dominant enough. They didn’t make me feel powerless.

They didn’t touch me right. They didn’t fuck me right. They didn’t control me like him. Know me like him. Beat me like him.

Too hard.

Too soft.

Too rough.

Too gentle.

Too nice.

Too mean.

They never measure up to him.

Not where it’s important.

Sure they have jobs, pay their child support, take care of their kids, drive cars, smell nice, and many other things he doesn’t live up to.

But that feeling, it’s that feeling I get because I know him, he still excites me after all the shit we’ve been through.

Sure I could fall in love with someone else.

But that takes too long.

I need him now.

So why the fuck is he never here?

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