Sir and I had another normal boyfriend/girlfriend date. He invited me over to his new place for dinner. Then we went back to my place to spend the night. We took a shower together while he bitched about something mundane to me that was upsetting him. In my mind I was thinking: this is the first time I can think of where I have seen him so upset. It was intense how I was finally seeing his emotions. Even if it was over softball.
Most of the time through the night though, my little was in my head full force. I was pouting to myself when I got to his place and it smelled like air freshener: I hate being a girlfriend. I was pouting to myself when his place was cold: I hate being a girlfriend. I was pouting to myself while he showed my son how to play one of his video games: I hate this. I hate this. I hate this and: being a girlfriend is so boring. I begrudgingly talked about the past few days of my life while he cooked. And later, at my house, I begrudgingly got in the shower with him while he vented. I begrudgingly waited next to him in bed (a no media zone) while he took care of some things via messenger. And then we finally got to the fun part…
…fucking, which I also did a bit begrudgingly. In the middle of which, his ex-girlfriend started blowing up his phone. He acted like a boyfriend and didn’t answer. After the fourth time she called in a row, I pushed him out of me. Having dick inside of you that is attached to the source of your anger is not fun. I started yelling (loudly stating my concerns) about his ex-girlfriend and ended up yelling about him treating me differently lately: like a girlfriend instead of a sub. He seemed confused and asked me why that made me angry. I took a deep breath. I wasn’t angry about that. I was just trying to talk about it. Once I calmed down and he took care of whatever intensely important thing (bitching at him about something that wasn’t his fault) his ex needed to say. I told him it would have pissed me off much less if he had just stopped fucking me and dealt with it in the first place. He pointed out how that is what he would do as a Dom, but never as a boyfriend. He pointed out the difference between the two was as a Dom he wouldn’t think twice about stopping what he was doing and expecting me to wait while he took care of something else, but as a boyfriend, he sees me as a priority above all else because of his love for me. Then he asked me if I really preferred the former. No of course I didn’t.
“But it’s easier being a sub, I know what to do. All I have to do is obey what you say,” I whined. He smiled lovingly at me and replied, “All you have to do as my girlfriend is obey what I say too”. Then he gave me a small, evil grin. Phew! Sir was still in there. And, Yay! maybe things won’t be so terribly different.
With his dick back inside me, Sir started to ask when the last time I had fucked anyone beside him was. I replied promptly that it had been just over two weeks. And, that I was considering removing BF #2 from said title. He ignored the second comment. “Why haven’t you been fucking anyone else,” he asked. I didn’t really know. I just hadn’t felt like it. BF #2 was always too busy. The one guy I had a crush on was my son’s friend’s dad and that didn’t seem appropriate. I was hyper focused on waiting to see what would happen with my job, getting my son to all his activities, and achieving my health and fitness goals. Plus, there are never many good prospects on Fetlife. “I don’t know,” I replied.
“What’s tonight, Tuesday? And I will see you again Saturday night. Before I see you again, I want you to have sex with someone else. That gives you Wednesday night, Thursday night, and Friday night to find someone else to fuck you.” My head was already going through possible ways to achieve this task, as he continued to fuck me. Running lists of people available, I wasn’t hitting on anything that sounded fun. Sir asking me questions as he fucked me. Did I have anyone in mind? Who did I want to fuck? Etc. We kept talking about it and since I couldn’t think of anyone I was allowed to fuck, he said for the next three days, I could fuck anyone even if they were on his list of guys I am not allowed to fuck. “Are you making me fuck someone else, because you don’t want to feel bad about fucking that girl you have a crush on,” I asked. “No,” he replied, ” I am asking you to because you deserve to get fucked by someone else”. Then he rolled on top of me and asked, “Do you think I want to fuck someone that no one else wants to fuck.” “No, Sir,” I replied. “Besides,” he added, “You know it turns me on to hear about other guys fucking you.” We kept fucking, while we discussed (just after I came hard making a big puddle all over him and the bed) wether he should fuck the virgin girl he is crushing on. I expressed the opinion that he should only do it if he was completely sure that the fact that the primary reason he wanted to fuck her was her virginity status and how it would stroke his already healthy ego was alright with her and that he wouldn’t harm her in any way by doing so.
I am excited to have an assignment. And I take my assignment seriously. It is hard being an obedient submissive/partner and knowing how the rest of the world would perceive a situation like this. Maybe it would appear that he has no respect for me and treats me like an object. Yet, I agreed that my body was his to do with as he pleases. And this makes me happy to know what I need to do to please my man. It also makes me happy to know he still wants to challenge me and challenge my trust and loyalty to him. It was easier for me to make the arrangements than I thought. I had plans to complete my task made by the next morning. And plans to discuss times to meet up with a completely new play partner by midday (so I can continue to please Sir in the future). By that evening though, I was feeling insecure. I wondered if Sir was giving me this task as a way to keep us from getting too close. He is more naturally polyamorous than me. Maybe he doesn’t want me to get too much in a monogamous head space and he thinks that if I start fucking someone else, it will remind me how much I enjoy variety. Thus, keeping me from truly getting too close and too needy. What if this is Sir’s way of keeping his relationship low maintenance?
Trusting him with my body, soul, mind, and heart is not always easy. Especially since the more boyfriend/girlfriend type situation has been amped up. But he says this is what he wants and I have been wanting it for years. It figures I am now the one that’s freaking out about it.