I am in love with Sir. I have been for years. I have been waiting for years for him to love me in return, in the way I want. Not as his friends or submissive, but as his girlfriend. Now he does and I am resistant to the change. Change scares me. It never feels… Continue reading Intimacy is Hard
How did I get 15 years behind? I am trying to find the positivity, the confidence, and the strength to believe in myself. I need to believe that I can become a teacher with all my heart. I need to invest myself in the risk, the choice, and overcoming the obstacles. But one thing that… Continue reading How Did I Get So Far Behind?
He works 32 hours a week at a bike shop He doesn’t pay his taxes He prefers to spend his time working on old cars, playing video games, playing softball, and making BDSM toys He wants to fuck a 21 year old virgin He doesn’t take a shower everyday? He doesn’t want to be in… Continue reading Reasons to Not Date Sir
Sir and I had another normal boyfriend/girlfriend date. He invited me over to his new place for dinner. Then we went back to my place to spend the night. We took a shower together while he bitched about something mundane to me that was upsetting him. In my mind I was thinking: this is the… Continue reading The Assignment
I hate that I am writing this right now. I always wanted to be both. Why can’t I be both? First and foremost, I have much more experience playing a submissive role than a girlfriend role. Being a submissive requires an energy connection, but nowhere near the intimacy and vulnerability that being a girlfriend does.… Continue reading Girlfriend VS. Submissive
Over spring break, I was mostly busy. Some of the busy-ness was fun stuff like snowboarding, my first day trip with Sir, and throwing my son a birthday party. Now I am back to work and I am twice as busy. Today was crazy, chaotic, on the verge of falling apart crazy. That’s how life… Continue reading Not much BDSM #Reallife
I have the work ethic of a school age child and the attitude of a teenager. When it comes to work, I will do as little as I can get away with. If I don’t agree with the rules or policies, I will try to find a way around them without getting caught. This combined… Continue reading Embrace My Little